This is Dora
by MyLastNameWasDumb
Summary: Yep. Warning label inside! Just to be sure we're clear on this, it is just rated for language and violence T-M, depending if I feel the need to adjust . I'm letting you know I'm not a creeper!
1. The Beginning of whatever this is

**Warning: This was created purely for no purpose whatsoever and probably isn't of my best quality so if you click on it you lost the game. Now onto something completely different. Oh, btw, I don't own Dora the Explorer!**

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**Once upon a time, Dora and Boots were strolling down a road singing about whatever it was that they were doing. As they were looking at their magical map, trying to find out which way would be the most hazardous, they heard a noise.

"What was that?" Dora asked, not Boots, but you, apparently. Indeed, what was that noise, could it be...?

"It must've been Swiper!" Boots concluded for you, because they can neither see nor hear you through the screen. Swiper popped out of the bushes laughing maniacally.

"Say it with me everyone! Swiper noooo-" Dora began chanting, but Swiper smacked her in the face.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GIVE ME YOUR MAGICAL MAP AND OTHER EXPLORING ACCESSORIES!"

"Wha- what?" Boots was dumbfounded.

"You heard me, banana sucker! Do you two realize how much those would sell on the black market? Hand them over!" And with that Swiper stole the magical talking... stuff.

"POR QUUUEEEE?" Screamed Backpack, as he and Map were stolen away.

"You can't do this to me! I'm the map! The map! THE MAAAAAAAAP!" Map cried angrily.

"LAS PAPAS FRITAAAAAS!" Screamed Boots as he fell to the ground (speaking no Spanish, his words were unfitting.).

"Boots, we have no time for that!" Scolded Dora.

"Pero, me gusta bebo mantequilla!" Boots protested, not knowing what he was saying.

"Just shut up, Boots!" Dora slapped him in the face.

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_**TO BE CONTINUED...?**_

**If you want this nonsense to go on, please review!**

**TRANSLATIONS:**

**Por Que? (should have an accent above the e, but can't do that on my computer.) = Why?**

**Las Papas Fritas = French Fries**

**Pero, me gusta bebo mantequilla! = But, I like to drink butter!**

**Thank you, and I hope this amused somebody for a couple of seconds XD  
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	2. All Hell is Breaking Loose!

**Warning: This was created purely for no purpose whatsoever and probably isn't of my best quality so if you click on it you lost the game. Now onto something completely different. Oh, btw, I don't own Dora the Explorer!**

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**_Last we saw our... heroes? PFFFFFF, YEAH RIGHT! Anyway, last we saw the monkey and his abusive friend, Dora, their magical crap was stolen, and Boots failed at speaking Spanish. Let us now continue this wierdness, as you have wished it!_**

Dora and Boots sat on the beach, leaning against some giant rocks. It was a tense setting as for the first time ever, Dora was fuming in anger. Stupidly, Boots tried to calm her... in Spanish.

_"Feliz Cumpleaños a ti..."_ He said sadly. That's when Dora snapped.

"SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU CAN'T SPEAK SPANISH!" She began ruthlessly beating him untill Diego came swinging in on a vine. Her anger turned on him.

"AND YOU! HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT? THERE AREN'T ANY FUCKING TREES ON THIS BEACH!" And that's when Diego tazed her. She screamed in retaliation, "DON'T TAZE ME CUZ!"

"Dora! You need to calm down! Animal abuse is illegal! I'm taking Boots away from you!" With that, he grabbed Boots and swung away on the magical vine.

"Go ahead! He's useless anyway!" Dora said when she got up. She then began walking down a perfectly safe path, which pissed her off because she didn't need to count in Spanish to get anywhere.

_Meanwhile, in Diego's tree house..._

Diego had Boots patched up in no time. Because in cartoons, hospitals are non-existant in this situation. You only need to go for check-ups, derp!

"Diego! You're super awesome! How did you swing on a vine on a beach?" Boots said in total happiness.

"No need to thank me Boots! It's just what I do, I'm an animal rescuer!" Diego said, avoiding the question. Boots didn't notice.

"You must really love animals to dedicate your life to this!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"YEAH?"

_"yeah~" _Diego said in a... concerning way.

_"_Um, hehe... yeah...?" Boots laughed nervously, as Diego approached him slowly.

"Now, now, Boots. Did you really think I do this crap for free~?"

"Ummmm... yeah?" Boots squeaked, wishing he was back with Dora as Diego grabbed his shoulders with an evil smile on his face.

_Meanwhile, back on the trail with Dora..._

"Stupid monkey, I'm glad he's gone! I bet he's soooo happy right now, but he's gonna learn Diego's true side, A PERVY WEIRDO WITH A FUR FETISH! HA!" Dora was ecstatic. But, just then, her fate was about to change.

"DORA!" Swiper grabbed her by the arm as he jumped out of the bushes, "WHY WON'T YOUR MAGICAL CRAP TALK?"

"Dora! Dora! He's trying to sell us, Dora! Save us!" Backpack screamed whilst wiggling on Swiper's back. "Aha! So you didn't suddenly go mute like you were pretending!" Swiper started running, still grabbing Dora's arm.

"What are you doing?" Dora asked, "Why do you have to take me along? I don't care about my stuff anymore!" Backpack gasped, "Why, Dora?"

"I dunno, what do YOU think I'm planning kids?" Swiper asks you. Regardless of you're answer, he then says, "That's right! I'm kidnapping Dora to use her as bait to get Diego to swing in on his magical vine, so I can sell that thing, too! Then I'm going to use that vine to get to his tree house and steal that magical telescope that can see anyone, anywhere! MWAHAHAHAHA! VERY GOOD, CHILDREN!"

"How the hell would they know that?" Map screamed.

_TO BE CONCLUDED, MAYBE?_

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Yay! There wasn't much Spanish in this one, d'oh! But, there's one translation needed, anyway.

**Translation!**

**_Feliz Cumpleaños a ti _= Happy Birthday to you**

Alrighty then! That was the demanded next chapter. Unlike Swiper, I actually listen to what you say- are you ready for the conclusion? Or shall the madness end here? AND- any other children's show parodies you'd like to see from me? Now... REVIEW!


	3. Now with 100 percent less Spanish?

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**Oh, dear... I'm running out of spanish words... So OBVIOUSLY I don't own Dora the Explorer :D**

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_Okay now, where did we leave this? Riiight, Diego violated Boots off-screen and Swiper decided he was gonna steal the magical vine and stuff..._

"Do I really have to say this?" Dora complained.

"Do it or else you'll never count anything in Spanish again... unless it's celery!" Swiper threatened deviously.

"Uh, celery?"

"Do it or I keel you."

"Fine... DEIGO! I'M BEING ATTACKED BY A... A... DELICIOUS FURRY!" The words were hard to get out, Diego and furries weren't a good combination. She cringed thinking of his poor victims, but smiled because it reminded her of the situation Boots was in. In seconds, he was there with his magical vine.

"Well hello there, Foxy!" He said in his creepiest voice, "Wanna ride my _vine?_" Swiper smiled and laughed maniacally, "Oh, do I? Of course!" Dragging Dora along, he hopped on board.

The trio arrived in the tree house, Boots was huddled in the corner, looking pretty scruffy.

"Haha! What's up, Boots?" Dora asked cheerfully!

"O-Okane ga nai..." He replied, confusing Dora, "What the fuck, Boots? That's not even Spanish!"

"I gave it up! I speak Japanese now!"

"OMG Boots! We're already having enough trouble with Kai Lan! Don't you go speaking Japanese too!" She yelled, infuriated.

"Kai Lan speaks CHINESE, you overrated whore! At least she's nice to HER animal friends!"

"THAT'S IT! Swiper, I'm with you, Diego has corrupted Boots! I'm taking back whats mine!"

"Not so fast, Dora. He's mine now. If you weren't such a trashy cousin, he'd be swingin' in banana trees right now instead of being my slave" Diego grabbed a machete and readied to defend himself.

"Ya know, I think I saw an anime a little like this once." Swiper said thoughtfully.

"You! Don't point out references like that! I'll have to remove your tounge if you keep referencing things that I'm doing to you! That's right Foxy, you're next in my line of slaves!"

And so it began. The final battle, I think.

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**LOL. I do believe this is the worst thing I've ever written. Even so, rereading this kinda makes me laugh. I was suprised to see 2011 comments, so I had to update. I really didn't expect people to like this! Brownie points to those who got the anime reference- though you'd have to be crazy like me to know it ;) **

**Translation!**

**Okane ga nai means "No money" :D**

**LEAVE ME THE REVIEWS! I LIKE YOUR BRAIN MUSINGS! o_o I just realized this was supposed to be the conclusion... screw that. Four is an even number. Let's have four chapters.**


End file.
